Indifferent
December 01, 2020
Jennie Allen
Bible teacher, founder of IF:Gathering
"Afterward he appeared to the eleven themselves as they were reclining at table, and he rebuked them for their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they had not believed those who saw him after he had risen. And he said to them, "Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover." So then the Lord Jesus, after he had spoken to them, was taken up into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God. And they went out and preached everywhere, while the Lord worked with them and confirmed the message by accompanying signs." - Mark 16:14-20
Today we are talking about being indifferent. None of us want to feel it. But it is kind of a wild ride in 2020. Some of you rise in moments like this! Your heart beats fast and you want to rally everybody - that's kind of how I was the first few weeks of the pandemic. We were on break when the pandemic broke out and I remember getting on the phone with my team, we're all home, we're all realizing this is going to be a big deal, and I was like, "guys! This is a moment for us to lead! This is a moment for us to make a difference!" I mean I had a great speech. I think I may have cried. I felt it in my bones! We did. We launched IF:TV, we cranked out a lot of podcast content, and I mean we ran like crazy those first few weeks. Then about week four, I just shut down.
I realized how long this was going to be and all the adrenaline I felt in the first few weeks faded away. I was in bed, didn't want to put on makeup, didn't want to even clean my house, I was discouraged, I felt heavy, and I didn't feel hopeful for the future. I was beat down and tired. I think there's a fatigue that's over all of us through this season that's very difficult to name and quantify. In some ways, we've never gone slower throughout our days. We've never worn more comfy clothes and been at home, yet we've never been more tired. I think that fatigue is coming from a place that we have to talk about.
We are watching the whole world's problems day in and day out, and our shoulders were not meant to carry that weight. So what do we do when we're carrying more burden than we can possibly sustain? We check out. I know this is an odd conversation, because what it sounds like I'm saying is "don't care too much." It sounds like I'm saying, "don't listen to the news, don't care about all the problems in the world." That is not what I'm saying. I'm saying we've got to pace ourselves, understand our limitations, and be about the things that only we can be about. We can not take on the problems of the world. I am preaching to the choir right now, because if any of you know me and have watched me lead for a long time, I care a lot. I care about a lot of things. I care about unborn children, racial issues, making sure people know the gospel, the Bible, the poor, and the sex trafficking. I care because I feel like God has given me a platform and I feel like I am not spending my life well if I don't make a difference every day of my life. It's part of the way I'm wired. But I can not care about everything and I can not make a difference everywhere if I don't choose the places I'm supposed to serve and where I'm supposed to be. My priorities have had to get reordered. It's not that I won't care about sex trafficking, it's that I'm going to put it in an order. I'm going to place in my life the values and commitments that I have this year, knowing I have a limited amount of energy, money, and time.
Let me tell you what I've learned about this. What's cool about having limited energy, time, and money is that we are a part of the body. In fact, that body goes around the entire earth. There's not a country where there are no believers. There is a network of those believers through local churches throughout the world. You may not feel that on a given day, but it's there. I just left a Bible translation conference and I'm telling you - it's there. Within 13 years, the Bible is going to be in every single heart language for the first time in history. The network of the church is on the move behind the scenes in ways that you can not imagine. What's so cool about that and what we can't forget is that we are supposed to play our part. 1 Corinthians is really clear - if you're an eye, be a great eye. If you're an elbow, be a great elbow. If you're a finger, be a great finger. Paul says don't look down on different parts, because all the parts are needed. If you don't have a toe, you've got some issues. Whatever you're good at, you have to bring it to the table. The problem is, we're being bombarded everyday with everyone's problems, and it's as if we don't care about anything if we don't care about everyone's problems. That's impossible. We're losing by trying. We're not being very strategic. Scripture calls us to actually be very strategic. My hope is that we would get more comfortable with our limited time, energy, and money and be more strategic! Let's use our limits well. Let's make better choices. Rather than numbly walking through life and trying to care about everything and feeling bad if we don't and judging others if they don't care about the issues we care about, why don't we look at it more like a tapestry. Stay in our little place, and do the best we can with it and believe that God loves the world. He raises up different people with different gifts and different passions for different problems. If we could own our spot rather than checking out because we're so exhausted by the whole, big picture of all the problems, we could make a huge difference.
One of the problems with indifference is it causes us to miss the spot we've been given, the gifts we've been given, and the problems we've been given to solve. Those problems might be in your home. They might be right under your nose. I have a friend who is so passionate about racial reconciliation and causing growth in the city of Dallas. She wants to see bridges built in the city and is so passionate about it. She has taken ground on that front in many, many ways. But for a season, her kids really needed her. Like really, really needed her. They were going through difficulties and it pulled her out of all that work. She had to get comfortable and process the fact that for the most part, she was going to be living and loving and serving at home. For a season, for the foreseeable future, that would be where her efforts went. She had to work through not being able to pursue these bigger visions God had given her. It was hard for her! It was sad for her to give up that bigger work and do the work of being at home. Her kids, over that time period, they were absolutely growing like crazy. They're becoming adults now and heading into the world and they are going to be difference makers. They are going to be world changers. You can already see it. The healing in their life and the attention they gave their kids in that season is already paying off. It's going to pay off as they go into the world and make a difference. I'm telling you, those investments, if they're right in front of your nose, in your neighborhood, at a local charity, in your church, it is worth it. I would challenge the people who are out solving the big problems that they're also solving the little problems right in front of you. That's one of the convictions Zac and I have. As big as ministry gets, what are we giving to? What ministries are we involved in? How are we making disciples and making a difference in their lives? The big, big heavy stuff is up to God. I have to be faithful to my ministry and the platform God has given me. But that platform starts with my kids, my family, my friends, and my workplace. The people that know me and walk with me day in and day out. Those are the people I'm most responsible for. I tell my team this all the time at IF:Gathering. We'll get into something at work and I'll stop and say, "I want you to hear me really clearly. Your wellbeing is way more important to me than your productivity. I'm accountable to God for how you do because you're one of the people I'm with the most. So if I don't take care of you, if I use you, but don't care about your heart, then I am accountable to God for that." It's not just a conviction of mine. I'm accountable to God for this. It's still heavy and we're still carrying responsibility, but let's make sure we're carrying the right responsibilities and let God carry the whole wide world. Where he prompts your heart, your passions, and your gifts, and your finances to serve the whole wide world alongside that, you do it. Where you're carrying unnecessary responsibility for things that are not yours to carry, you also have to notice that. How are you supposed to carry any problems if you're trying to carry them all?
I love Jesus because he was always trying to keep things simple for everybody. It was kind of unbelievable how he did it. He would tell stories and analogies and speak really plainly. Somebody was asking Jesus what the greatest commandment in the law is, and Jesus replies in this way, "love the Lord God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." So first, be responsible for your own soul and your own mind. That's your first responsibility. That our heart loves God. So much so in another place Jesus says if something is causing you to sin, cut it out. That's how seriously you have to take responsibility for your own mind and heart. You've got to be willing to do anything to keep it pure. That's our first primary place of responsibility. Ourself. Then he says, "this is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself." David Platt says it best. He says, "if we were left to figure out the tasks of taking the gospel to the whole world, we would immediately begin planning innovative strategies, plotting elaborate schemes, organize conventions, develop programs, create foundations, but Jesus is so different from us. With the task of taking the gospel to the world, he wandered through the streets and the byways. All he wanted was a few men who would think as he did, love as he did, see as he did, teach as he did, serve as he did. All he needed was to revolutionize the hearts of a few, and they would impact the world." I could not agree with this and believe this more. How we change the world is how we love our families, our neighbors, our friends, our coworkers, our classmates, the people in our real life. The other stuff should just be an overflow. I tell my team all the time, how we live in unity, love each other, hold to the scriptures, and make sure our hearts are loving God most, is how IF:Gathering will go. It's because how we love each other is going to be the contagious thing. It's not going to be a sermon or some great vision. It will be the contagious love we have for each other spreading into other homes and other neighborhoods and other campuses and workplaces.
Q&A
How can I move toward empathy and action when I just don't feel like it?
Guys, that's going to be a common feeling we all feel. The reason why is because our flesh loves to be selfish. Everything about us is going to want to serve ourselves. Very rarely are you going to say, "gosh, I really just want to sacrifice myself for the good of others." Very rarely are you generous because you really feel like it. It's a conviction and believing in the word of God, that the seeds we sow have eternal value. When we give our time, energy, and money, the resources he's given us for the Kingdom of God and good of people, that is the best use of our lives. There's a conviction that causes us to do the things we do, to give to what we give to, and support and love the people we do. It's conviction. So make a plan for it! Don't just hope you're going to feel that way and give some money or time or energy or gifts. You have to make a strategic plan for it. My husband and I do this every year and we make a strategic plan for our time, energy, and money. We make a plan of what we're going to give to and how we're going to do it strategically. You have to be strategic. Grab a friend or your spouse or a parent and say, "would you help me dream about how to spend my year well?" Part of your plan, when it's worked into your schedule, is you feel accountable for it. You've made commitments to people. You promise things that you want to deliver on. We don't wait for our feelings, we make a plan.
What could I pray for to overcome my indifference?
You know what I do? I listen to scripture - I love the Dwell app. I listen to it and play it over myself. When I don't feel like having a quiet time or getting in the word, I'll listen to that and I'll pray scripture. I'll pray that scripture for myself and for the people I love. I let God give me the words. Sometimes I don't have the energy, the thoughts, the concerns to think of my own prayers. That's a great way to do it - let scripture be a guide for prayer. You know what guys? It's just not always going to feel fun. That's just part of walking with God. In our culture we have such an idolatry of our feelings that we don't understand that walking with God rarely feels magical. It's mundane. The power of doing that day in and day out is that it changes us and causes us to be more steadfast so we aren't as moveable when tragedy comes. That's the exciting thing about following God is that he's building within us storehouses of hope, storehouses of character, storehouses of purity, and storehouses of himself. I don't think we wait for tragedy to go to God. We meet with God day in and day out and that is developing in us maturity and steadfastness. The world needs some mature, grown up Christians right now. We need to be those that guard our own mind, take responsibility for ourselves, and take responsibility for those that God has given us right in our path.
How did Jesus combat that feeling of being overwhelmed?
We don't get a complete insight into the way he thought and felt all the time, but you absolutely see him withdrawing a lot. He would withdraw for short periods, or a night, or a day, or 40 days! He withdrew for short and long periods of time. We have to do that too. I just said this to a friend who is in a pretty demanding ministry day in and day out and she feels so responsible for so many people. I asked when was the last time she took a good, long break. When was the last time you had fun? When was the last time you made a plan that maybe felt selfish to you but filled up your soul and made you laugh? It's not wrong. God rested on the 7th day. If God rested, we better be resting. If Jesus needed time to withdraw and be with his father, to refocus, to rest, we need that! If the God of the Universe needed that, we need that too. Don't be afraid to withdraw. Don't watch more news and don't fill your mind with things that don't cause rest for you. Be outdoors in nature, pray, have fun, go out with some friends, those are Godly and beautiful practices we need to make sure are a part of our life every single week. We need days our phones are plugged in and we're not responding. We need days where we're just laughing with our family and friends and that's our biggest priority. Our kids need to feel that and our friends need to feel that as well.
Why should I care?
Some of you are listening to this and your problem is not that you overcare, it's that you don't care. You put your head in the sand and stop caring. Together, collectively, we can make a difference in these big issues. I believe that. I believe the road to making that difference happens in our real lives, but I look back and if I wouldn't have cared about racial reconciliation, I would have missed the most beautiful stories of the last few years of my life with IF:Gathering and Latasha Morrison and other friends that we've had these conversations with. It has changed my life. It has given me more compassion to lead and care. It's given me more knowledge of how to speak into these times and walk through this. We care! Caring will bring some of the greatest stories of your life. We care about the things God has given us to care about. We can't pick every issue, we can pick our few, and throw in and care and serve and do it with people beside us so we don't burn out. We don't get to put our head in the sand, but we do get to rest. There's a difference. One of the things you have to care about rest, fun, and space with people you love. So we can do this for the long haul! So when I'm 85, I still love people, I still love God, and I still love the word of God. I don't want to burn out in my mid-40s because I thought I could save the world.