You: (checking yourself out in mirror) Hello, Gorgeous. Do you just keep getting even more amazing each day?
Ha!
If only.
We don’t do that because our brains are actually hard-wired to pick up on the negative stuff.
Attention on the negative kept us alive in our cave-dwelling days, but it doesn’t do us a lot of good today when that focus becomes self-defeating.
If you’re taking part in the #MindsetReset experience, you know that I am teaching you to be more DELIBERATE about your thoughts. You can’t change your life until you change the way you think. Period.
Negative self-talk and limiting beliefs are baggage we all carry around with us, but it’s how much trust you put into that baggage that matters.
Would your best friend BE your best friend if she repeatedly told you that you suck?
I hope not.
Yet you give full permission to yourself every day to say this to… you!
What’s more, you believe what you tell yourself. And the more negative the belief, the more you believe it.
You repeat it, like an email auto-responder, anytime something goes wrong or before you’re about to take on something meaningful.
Message in: Uh oh. That wasn’t supposed to happen that way.
Auto-response: Of course it was going to fail. You always fail. You don’t know what you’re doing. Have a great day!
And this one:
Message in: I am so ready to try this!
Auto-response: No. No you’re not. You do not try new things because you will hate them and then everyone will think of you as a failure. Best wishes!
It’s time to rewrite those auto-responses, and for one reason only:
YOU are worth it.
In this #MindsetReset session, I showed you how to Think THIS, Not That and offered up a few examples of anchor thoughts to replace the ones you’ve wired into your brain.
Anchor thoughts are a powerful tool that help prevent your limiting beliefs from growing into worry or anxiety. They do that by keeping you anchored to the present moment.
Repeating anchor thoughts is how you become a more deliberate thinker.
It takes a while to rewire a brain, so have patience. Research finds that it takes, on average, 66 days to form new and sustainable habits. Your negative thoughts are bad habits just like any other, and the best way to get rid of a bad habit is to replace it with a good one.
Catch that auto-responder when it hits your mental inbox, and rewrite it with one of the samples below, or use your own.
If you try an anchor thought and find it’s not working for you, switch it up! Repeating words that mean nothing to you won’t make much of a difference, so choose what does.
How to Think THIS, Not That
Instead of: I hate my body.
Think THIS: My body isn’t exactly the way I want it to be right now, but I’m working on loving it more every day.
Instead Of: My house is a mess.
Think THIS: I am doing the best I can and for now, I will just focus on (putting in a load of laundry, emptying the trash, cleaning the kitchen sink, or whatever ONE thing you can do).
Instead of: I hate myself.
Think THIS: I love myself a little more every day.
Instead of: I have sooo much to do.
Think THIS: I can’t do everything, but today I can do SOMEthing.
Instead of: I always fail.
Think THIS: Failure is a chance to figure out what I can do better. I will learn from my mistakes and focus on the times in my life where I have succeeded.
Instead of: I don’t deserve this promotion.
Think THIS: I work hard and it feels good to be recognized for it.
Instead of: I don’t belong in this role.
Think THIS: I don’t have to know everything now. I can figure things out as I go and I know how to ask for help when I need it.
Instead of: I feel awful. I’m coming down with something.
Think THIS: My body is doing its best to heal and I am going to help it.
Instead of: I don’t like my nose.
Think THIS: I love my eyes. (Or hair, or muscles, or fingernails.)
Instead of: Nobody likes me.
Think THIS: The people that matter do like me because I am a good person.
Instead of: I am no good at socializing.
Think THIS: Today I am going to introduce myself to ONE new person and be curious about them instead of focusing on me.
Instead of: Now my whole day is ruined.
Think THIS: I am not going to let 10 minutes of bad hijack the rest of my day. Life is too short.
Instead of: It’s impossible.
Think THIS: Very few things are impossible. People used to say flying was impossible. I won’t know for sure unless I take action.
Instead of: I wish I hadn’t done that.
Think THIS: I can’t change the past, but I can learn from it and be a little better today than I was yesterday.
Instead of: I am too old.
Think THIS: My life may not be where I want it to be right now, but I have the power to change that, no matter what my age. As long as I’m breathing, I’m not too old to challenge myself.
Instead of: I don’t have enough.
Think THIS: I have what I need at this moment and I can figure out the rest.
Instead of: Nobody appreciates anything I do.
Think THIS: Today I will ask somebody for feedback.
Instead of: I’m not good enough.
Think THIS: Today I will do one thing to prove to myself that I am good enough.
Instead of: I’m not smart enough.
Think THIS: Smart people just put in the effort, and today that’s what I am going to do.
Instead of: Why can’t I have abs like those?
Think THIS: To get abs like those, I have to make a lot of sacrifices. If I’m not willing to put in the time and effort for abs like those, then I have to let it go.
Instead of: I don’t feel like it.
Think THIS: #doitanyway
This post appeared first on Mel Robbins' website in January 2019.