Self Sabotage

Why is it when it matters most, we can become our own worst enemy? This week we're Off Balance On Purpose, talking self-sabotage.

Every day counts, and yet there are critical life moments when your performance, contribution, and excellence really matter. Big tests and opportunities, or that "break" that you've been working and waiting for. Such moments should summon our intense focus, preparation, and care. And they often do. But there's also a strong human tendency lurking in the background to undermine our best efforts. You may know it well. Self sabotage.

Self sabotage is when you do things, consciously or unconsciously, to waste opportunities, fail to prepare, and deliberately do the opposite of what you probably should be doing. Like not studying, but partying before the final exam. Or, staying up all night before a presentation and just "winging it," or when given that opportunity you've been waiting for, giving it half-hearted, semi-serious effort. Now why would we do this? Because it serves us, and protects our psyche.

Oh, we may be interested in success, but we are desperately afraid of failure. So if we show up to a test less than our best, we have a built in excuse if it goes badly. We weren't feeling well, we weren't fully prepared, or we had other urgencies to deal with at the moment. It wasn't a real test, and so our ego survives unscathed. Of course, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when, big shocker, it doesn't go well.

Look, we've all done this. So don't beat yourself up for the past. But please, don't hold yourself back for the future! If it matters, it matters. If these moments can genuinely help you, and others, then do all you can to increase the odds of your success. Prepare. Learn. Practice. Rest. And then show up, letting go of your preparation, even though you could have ALWAYS done MORE. Be present in the moment, rising to meet it with all you can summon.

There's nothing worse than the feeling that you just blew an opportunity because you weren't ready, and could have been. Trust me, I know. But even that painful moment can be a useful tool when you resolve to never let it happen again.

Life is tough enough, without engaging in self-sabotage. So do the work. Take it seriously. Test yourself, at your best, knowing you will get better. Until next week, stay Off Balance On Purpose.

The audio for this week's coaching video is located under the "Get Inspired" tab in the Positive Playlist . You can subscribe to the podcast and listen to other weekly messages for improving all aspects of your life.