Joey Jones

Much of what we go through in life is out of our control. But that does not mean we do not have control. For example, it wasn’t my choice to lose my legs in combat, but how I responded was completely up to me. My perspective could’ve been that of a victim, self-loathsome over what I had lost, and void of motivation to regain and semblance of independence. However, the other option was to see each day as an opportunity to win. If losing my legs was the worst day of my life then every day after that had to be better, more healed, stronger, less pain, closer to recovery and closer to standing again on prosthetics.

We are all late for something we don’t want to be late to - a meeting, a flight, attending church, having dinner, or going to a game. When we’re stuck in traffic and we see the clock running against us, and it feels like we have no control, we have a choice – an important one. We can focus on the seconds passing by, imagine the heartache and frustration, embarrassment, and expense, of what will come once we arrive. Or maybe we take a breath. tune our speakers to our favorite song, adjust the A/C to our favorite temperature, and use that opportunity to recognize the worst thing about our lives, in that moment, is that we must be entertained and comfortable longer than we meant to be. That’s perspective. Circumstances are the same, but the journey and even outcome are up to us. 

Adversity is a constant. Seemingly as reliable as the morning sun. Look around; the weather, sickness, jobs, accidents… things break, things change, people in our lives disappoint us, we disappoint others. Most of the human experience is navigating adversity we didn’t intend to happen or plan. But each time we are met with difficulty something amazing happens, we survive. We don’t just survive, we get stronger, more equipped, better prepared, more resilient. We gain wisdom, experience, and sometimes even the ability to enjoy the struggle knowing we can get through it. For me adversity started early, I was raised poor, hard work and little reward was a constant in the single-wide trailer home of my hardworking brick mason father and house cleaner mother. No expense came easy, and no sick days were free. But through that adversity came love, appreciation void of entitlement and an intimate understanding of the value of hard work.

I lost my legs at 24 years old. I was in peak physical condition and given state of the art medical treatment. Yet, folks look at me in awe as I stand on prosthetics and travel the country independently, usually with a genuine smile, and say “I don’t know how you stay so positive after you lost your legs.” To which I sometimes respond, “Well don’t ever get negative, since you have yours.” The point here is that one aspect of adversity doesn’t get to define us. Yes, I lost my legs, but I haven’t had cancer, I haven’t filed bankruptcy, lost a child, gone through a divorce. But all those things are present in this room, and all of you are here today with the opportunity to celebrate, work, give, love. You have all gone through every type of adversity life has thrown at you, and here you are. Remember what you are capable of, remember how you got here. 

I think perhaps our greatest gift in life is our responsibility we have to others. When little else motivates us, we still owe our time and effort to others. People we love and work with are relying on us to do what perhaps only we can do. Our Responsibility helps us see our relevance and place in this world, our community, church, family, or team. Responsibility is a gift. To be responsible for something is to matter.

When I was injured in 2010, I had a 1-year son I had met once. I was a brother, a son, I had just reconnected with my high school sweetheart who’s now my wife. It was my son’s choice to have a dad with amputated legs. But he still needed it. I was still responsible for throwing a ball, changing diapers, taking him to the park, and teaching him to drive. These things were going to be difficult for me, but I had the gift, the blessing of being the one responsible for teaching him these things. My responsibility to him reminded me how needed I was, how important I was and how service through sacrifice doesn’t just happen on a battlefield. It happens in all our lives, daily. 

Leadership is often seen as a binary, you either lead or follow. That couldn’t be the furthest from the truth. We lead one another in a gamut of ways every day. In the military, we even have a term for it, “Lead from the bottom” meaning every Marine, no matter their rank or position has the opportunity to do the right thing, make the tough choices, be consistent in their approach and lead by example. Good leaders don’t always make the right decisions, but they also don’t create doubt in their peers and subordinates about why they make the decisions they make. Leadership isn’t about simply knowing a specific mission; it’s about knowing the people working with you on it. We inspire one another to work harder, be more disciplined and accomplish the task by being genuine in our own effort, consistent in our diligence and fair in our assessments. Leadership isn’t steering the boat, it's inspiring the rowers to row, the riggers to rig and the navigators to plot and stay on course.

My dad was a brick and block mason. He wasn’t an educated man, but he was good at his trade. Manual labor is an occupation of the rough and tumble, but, paid well and treated people with respect. Two laborers who worked for him were all but vagrants in society. They weren’t much younger than him but respected him.   They showed up for work on Monday and worked hard until Friday. The weekends were usually filled with antics, but they kept themselves out of jail (most of the time) because they knew their job was necessary to the team. He explained it to me once as I was washing my truck and asked him why he put up with them and their bad habits. He said, “Son, why bust the rust if you won’t polish the chrome? Why focus on the bad if you’re not going to acknowledge the good? Sure, they aren’t upstanding citizens, and they may never learn more than what they’re doing now. But if I invest in what they do best, I bet they’ll be a little better all around, and everyone has something worth bragging on and investing in. You just must show it to them sometimes.”