I appreciate the time you took to customize your comments about our industry and your audience participation segment was well done. In this complex world of telecommunications you had our members laughing at themselves and really enjoying our convention.
Greg Schwem
America’s Favorite Corporate Funnyman
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Fee Range
$15,000Travels From
Chicago, Illinois, United States
Greg Schwem
Biography
The Chicago Tribune recently proclaimed Greg Schwem "king of the hill in the growing world of corporate comedy." His comedic take on the 21st century workplace and work/life balance has landed him on XM/Sirius Radio, FOX News, Comedy Central and the pages of Parents Magazine. Audiences from companies such as Cisco, Microsoft, IBM, Motorola and McDonald's have laughed at Greg's stories about tedious business meetings, Smart Phone addiction, "frequently" asked questions and his fascination with the American Girl Doll company.
More than just a business comedian and professional emcee, Greg is also a nationally syndicated humor columnist for Tribune Content Agency. In 2013 Greg was recognized by his peers at the National Society of Newspaper Columnists for outstanding humor writing. The Road to Success Goes Through the Salad Bar: A Pile of BS (Business Stories) From a Corporate Comedian is Greg's most recent book, coming on the heels of his first book, Text Me If You're Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad.
Greg Schwem
Featured Videos
Current: 2025 Sizzle Reel - Corporate Comedy & Humorous Keynote Speaker
Time 04:21
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Greg Schwem
Featured Keynote Programs
Work, Laugh Repeat
Perfect for any group that needs a humorous break from the serious side of business, live or virtually. Despite its therapeutic qualities, laughter is often absent from the business environment. Greg shows it is possible to laugh at work and about work, via a clean and heavily customized presentation. Audience members will put down their phones, close their laptops and laugh along with Greg as he good-naturedly discusses topics such as business travel, overused meeting slogans and his fantasy of heckling a motivational speaker
Turning Gut Punches into Punch Lines
In January 2024, while in the midst of a late in life divorce, corporate comedian and business humor speaker Greg Schwem was diagnosed with a malignant tumor lying flat on his colon.
Divorce and cancer in one year. Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?
Facing an uncertain outcome, Schwem was forced to adopt what he had been preaching to corporate clients such as Microsoft, Oracle and AT&T for years: Locate humor in the unfunniest of situations, during times when everything seems hopeless. With a laptop propped up on hospital pillows, Greg began writing…and writing…and writing. The result was Turning Gut Punches into Punch Lines, a hilarious, multimedia-fueled keynote speech that teaches audience members how to always be on the lookout for “the funny,” use humor to battle personal struggles, business challenges, or both, and emerge happier. It starts, Greg says, by admitting you are the “least interesting person in the room” and letting others provide the laughs.
Some insights from the presentation, most of which was written without the help of pain medication:
My surgeon kept telling me passing gas any time was a good thing. I handed him my phone and said, “Please call my ex and repeat what you just said.”
Everyone has a great, and funny story to tell, if you’re willing to listen and show genuine interest. Last month I booked two dates, simply because I asked strangers at airports what they did for a living.
I started watching TikTok videos of doctors giving health advice. One was called “Five Foods NEVER to Keep in your Refrigerator” After 30 seconds I realized it could easily be titled, “Five Foods Greg Schwem ALWAYS keeps in his Refrigerator.’
Humor is Serious Business...but We Should Still be Laughing
In a hilarious, multimedia-intensive presentation, renowned business humorist and award-winning Chicago Tribune humor columnist Greg Schwem will make audiences of all ages howl with laughter as he explores the role of, and the need for, humor in a post COVID, return-to- the-office world. As companies struggle to answer the questions, “What is funny?” and “What is appropriate?” Greg offers a different perspective: There ARE no right answers. Instead, he feels all employees, from the new hires to the C-level executives, must formulate their own answers by working together, instead of running from one another. Only then will the result be a healthy and FUN work environment.
Performing live or virtually, Greg shows audiences that rules about workplace humor can be easily violated… even by those who create and enforce them; how to not be the office “humor cop” and how to “engage but never attack” those who you disagree with when it comes to humor. The ability to research his audience and tailor his content is why companies such as Microsoft, McDonald’s, Southwest Airlines and even The CIA have turned to Greg for laughs, and why HuffPost calls Greg “Your boss’ favorite comedian.”
But Humor is Serious Business… is hardly a straight stand-up comedy show. Greg challenges his audiences to envision how they can use humor to improve workplace communication, and how to motivate one another in difficult times. Greg reinforces his message with stories of company personnel who have used humor to create successful campaigns and turn their businesses around.
As a cancer survivor, Greg will also share how humor helped him overcome devastating health news.
Rock Roll and Laugh Your Way to the Top!
Greg Schwem knows a thing or two about rock and roll.
As a comedian who has opened concerts for stars ranging from Keith Urban, to Celine Dion, to Enrique Iglesias to (wait for it) KC and the Sunshine Band, Greg has seen how rock and roll is really a business. Like your business. In short? Every company and employee has "rock star" potential. Greg shows you how to achieve that potential in a highly motivational presentation that combines hilarious comedy, live concert footage and a LOUD musical soundtrack featuring everything from classic rock to country to Lollapalooza. Topics include "Why Every Office Needs a Keith Richards," "Are you Team Taylor or Team Kanye?" and "Don't Let Your Company Become a Country Song."
Greg Schwem
Featured Books
The Road To Success Goes Through the Salad Bar: A Pile of BS From a Corporate Comedian
by Greg Schwem
The "BS" stands for "Business Stories." But these aren't tales about working in the Depression, spun by your grandfather as he dreamily inhales from his pipe. The Road to Success Goes Through the Salad Bar is a chance for corporate America to laugh at itself through observations gleaned from Greg Schwem, a stand-up comedian who has spent nearly 20 years performing for some of the nation's largest and most profitable companies. Topics such as Skype-powered job interviews, multi-million dollar "team building" events and the business person's insatiable lust for frequent flier miles are all skewered equally in this fast paced, hilarious read. Greg also shares serious business insights and tips that have made him one of America's most popular business speakers including how to look in the most unlikely places to find ideal job candidates and why the office staff of the future should include a chimpanzee. Required reading for CEOs and cubicle dwellers alike, The Road to Success Goes through the Salad Bar will have you laughing all the way to the office.
Turning Gut Punches Into Punch Lines: A Comedian's Journey Through Cancer, Divorce and Other Hilarious Stuff
by Greg Schwem
Imagine Eat, Pray, Love written by a comedian. Greg Schwem's mid-life journey may not result in a movie starring the male version of Julia Roberts (Tom Cruise, are you reading this?) but it is a helluva lot funnier. In 2024 Schwem, a syndicated humor columnist and 30-year standup comedy veteran, became a member of two unwanted classes: Gray Divorcee and Cancer Patient. Suddenly single and (thankfully) cancer free, Schwem begins a healing journey, hilariously navigating a new environment full of "gig" work, dating apps, therapy and "rizz." All in a quest to find his best self. Eventually Schwem realizes the answers lie not within a phone or via Artificial Intelligence, but through humor, face-to-face communication and an insistence on being the least interesting person in the room. An inspiring, self-help read from the author of Text Me If You're Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad.
Schwem's observations on:
Around the world cruises - (They) are becoming quite popular, with multiple lines offering them and the itineraries becoming lengthier until, I feel, one line will add a day in space providing everybody can be back on board by early dinner seating.
Rideshare employment - If you are not currently incarcerated, you are qualified to drive for Uber.
Zoom communication - Despite Zoom's immediate popularity and soaring stock price, the technology was rushed into the world before it was actually perfected. Sort of like letting paying customers board a new roller coaster before testing it with crash dummies.
Text Me If You're Breathing
by Greg Schwem
What does a Dad do when his eight year old asks Santa for a Wii Fit and a 4G iPhone? The answer is simple: laugh! In Text Me If You're Breathing, stand-up comedian and technically challenged dad Greg Schwem accounts his mishaps and struggles with parenting in today's digital world Whether accompanying his daughter to the New York City Apple store, purchasing a high-tech swing set, tweeting while coaching Little League or trying to lay down cell phone rules, Schwem shows readers that technology, while complicated, can be hilarious. Along the way, Schwem also aims his barbs at Tiger Woods, the Consumer Electronics Show, in vitro fertilization, the National Spelling Bee and the movie Avatar. Insightful, heartfelt and always funny, Text Me If You're Breathing is proof that parenting will never come with technical support.
Greg Schwem
Featured Reviews
Greg Schwem
Featured Articles & Resources
Greg Schwem Makes Fortune 500 Companies Laugh at Themselves
Greg Schwem is not your typical comedian.
While he travels around the country and makes thousands upon thousands of people laugh, he’s not doing it in comedy clubs. Instead,...
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