Appointment With Disappointment
Have you ever been motivated to save someone or something you love, even though the chances were unlikely? How can you find the courage and conviction to press on, keeping what is, almost certainly, an appointment with disappointment?
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When the odds are weak but the purpose is strong, how will you respond?
This week I was rejected. Refused. Hit the end of the road of a deeply personal quest. And honestly, I could see it coming. It's a strange feeling to prepare for the inevitable, to show up for an appointment with what is likely to be disappointment, preserving hope all the while it won't be.
Have you ever believed in something so strongly you were willing to put your reputation at risk? Have you ever been driven to save someone or something, or to persuade those you respect from what you see as an avoidable mistake? These may be the motivations of a leader, or a martyr, and sometimes you don't know which you may be until the final scene plays out.
The irony only just hit me that we're in San Antonio, literally steps away from the Alamo. Similar to my situation, but way worse.
Through this process, which has gone on for months, I learned a lot about myself and how to manage negative emotion. I chose a far tougher path because I believed it to be worthwhile. I saw it through to the end so I could be satisfied I did all I could, even though it wasn't enough. I also learned there's a fine line between tenacious and obstinate.
I was greatly supported by many who share my cause and conflict, to defy the wishes of others I also love and admire. In such situations, which I don't seek out or often encounter, all you have is who you are and the convictions of your heart. So in the end, that's what I went with, as gracefully as I could manage. And I suppose achieved a different sort of victory.
So I'd remind us outcomes aren't really endings. Well, maybe this one. But perhaps undesired outcomes also bring a new clarity. New discoveries about your world, and yourself. So this week, don't let the odds dissuade you from being Off Balance On Purpose.
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