How to Talk to God
February 16, 2021
Jennie Allen
Bible teacher, founder of IF:Gathering
Last week we talked about the Holy Spirit and this week we're talking about actually praying. What I want to talk about is the fact that we never talk about this, but most people say they pray and they actually don't. I know that is quite an accusation for some of you. So let me ask you a question: when is the last time you actually formed words to God? Maybe it was this morning. Maybe you are a faithful journal keeper like my mother in law who writes events in her journal and prays in her journal. Maybe you are a prayer that spends two hours in the morning on your knees. Good for you - this episode is not for you. But many of you talk about prayer, say that you will pray, say that you did pray, and honestly nobody taught you how. It feels futile because you wonder what's the point. If God is in control and everything is decided, why do we even pray? This is going to be an honest episode about prayer. Because I think we need it! If prayer is the greatest tool we have to connect our lives to God, fight our sin, and see life change happen, why is it something we struggle to do?
HOW MY PRAYER LIFE CHANGED
This year my husband and I have been blessed to be a part of a small group that's doing a lot of work in prayer. It's actually a prayer cohort and we meet twice a month. I am so challenged by it. My entire prayer life has changed this year because of this group. Our leader came to us and said, "most of you are just praying intercessory prayers." I didn't even know what that meant! It means those prayers that start off, "God would you, God could you, will you do this for this person or for me." But what other kinds are there? It turns out there are lots of ways to talk to God! My prayer life has changed after learning these different methods. One of the things I've learned is when you're agreeing with God about something, when it's in scripture, you pray declarative prayers. When we're praying things we already know that are God's will for our children, our home, our marriage, you pray them boldly.
Let me give you an example: let's say you've had a lot of anxiety during Covid and your prayer has been, "God, would you help me quit being afraid?" That's not a bad prayer. You can pray for that. There's not a right and wrong way to pray. That method of praying is throughout Scripture - I mean look at the Psalms. The whole thing is David being a mess - sometimes he's praising, sometimes he's crying, sometimes he's angry. That's probably the greatest way to learn how to pray - through David's Psalms. But, I do think when nobody's taught us any other way, we tend to just be cautious and timid and "would you, could you, will you" rather than being bold! I feel like that is what has shifted most of me in the last year, especially with my battle with my mind. I have a lot more authority over my home, my children, my mind, because I'm not against God in the prayer of "don't be anxious." His heart is for me to not be anxious. So I can be confessing it, naming it, fighting it, and I can know that God is beside me in that fight. It's not a request he's not wanting to answer. He wants to fight it with us!
PRAYING BOLD PRAYERS
It's praying bold prayers and in faith that God can move. I know that there's some fear attached to that. Last night, we were praying over one of our friends in the group over insecurity and fear. We were praying truth over her. I think of the end of the Lord's prayer where Jesus says, "this is how you pray. Your Kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." That is factual. It will happen. Jesus is praying Father, bring your Kingdom now. Bring your desires now. Don't wait! Your Kingdom come now. My friend in bondage is not pleasing to God. He's not sitting there crossed arms deciding whether to answer our prayers. The way we pray is as if God is a judge and he's sitting up there thinking, "let me decide what I'm going to do about that." He is our advocate! He is with us! The Holy Spirit, when we don't even have the words to say, takes the words to Jesus. We can say nothing and he will take those prayers to the Father! He is with us and postured beside us fighting for us! When you picture God as fighting with you rather than a judge whose arms are crossed deciding whether he's going to help us, it helps you pray with more boldness and fervor.
God's will always is for our good. Yet, that isn't always the answer we want and it isn't always healing. But he can! So we pray in boldness that he can. We don't know if he will but we know he can. We know his desire is wholeness, healing, life, and peace over our lives. Those are the desires of God, but they may not be met until Heaven. But they will be met. Your Kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven will be done. Is it done on a Tuesday in America in the midst of Covid? No. Not all the time. But it will be. That's how I hope that I pray - with more confidence and boldness. God doesn't view me on the side of the road as somebody asking him for money. This is his daughter. His daughter knows her place. His daughter knows her father. His daughter knows her father wants good for her, thriving for her, peace for her. He wants these things with us.
PRAYER CHANGES THINGS
I've learned to picture God with me rather than against me. He's not across the table from me negotiating a plan. I don't know what your prayer life looks like or what your struggle is, but I think we all have issues with prayer. I think it's a place where the enemy gets us. Whether it's unbelief or feeling like prayer doesn't change things. Prayer changes things! I feel like everytime I pray something super specific, it takes more faith than praying for big things. It takes more faith to pray specifically about a struggle with my child and asking God to show me what to do. It's easier to pray for the healing of the whole church. I pray those big prayers, but it takes more faith to pray the prayer where I need God to move in my life in that very minute.
If we want to see the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we've got to be better at praying big and bold prayers. We have to pray prayers that feel risky. I remember my sister told me about a girl she followed on Instagram whose child died and they were praying for her to be resurrected. It was really bold and I'm sure a lot of you saw this unfold on social media. They were getting a lot of scrutiny for praying that. My sister called me and asked me what I thought and I said I think it's beautiful that two people would beg God for a miracle that big and believe he could do it. I also think it's beautiful that they keep trusting him when he didn't. I don't think their big, audacious prayers that everyone was judging were wrong. We've got to pray big, massive prayers and believe he can do it. Several days later they had the funeral and they received that resurrection wasn't God's will for them. They still trusted. They still loved him and believed in him. I can't imagine how scary and vulnerable that was for them to pray like that and then face the darkness of that reality. I would much rather be judged for praying crazy prayers and believing God for crazy things and it not happening, than I didn't pray big enough prayers. I want to know that couple and know what they prayed that built their faith to the point that they thought he might resurrect their child! He's done it! That's New Testament stuff! God has done that before. It doesn't mean we don't receive God's will when it's clear and final. The things we're praying for that don't get answered on earth will either be fulfilled in Heaven or we won't care about it when we get to Heaven.
I think one of the biggest reasons we don't see the Holy Spirit moving in miraculous ways around us is because we don't pray for him to do so. My hope is that we as a country, as a Church, would begin to pray bigger, bolder prayers. We wouldn't be afraid of a no. That's part of life! We are God's kids and I tell my kids no a lot. And a lot of times without any explanation. We can still ask! I love when my kids ask! My oldest son is 21 years old, a junior in college, and he calls me all the time to ask for money. The funny thing is he already gets an allowance. He also works and has money. He knows that 1 out of 10 times, I'm just in a good mood and I'll give him some money. He knows he might get that mom when he calls! I told him the other day, "you ask me for money so much! Call your dad!" Then he said, "dad always says no." I said, "I usually say no!' Then he said, "but mom, every once in awhile you say yes!" I just laughed and was like, you're right. It doesn't make me mad, it doesn't bother me, and a lot of times it's my joy to say yes. Sometimes I surprise him and pay for things he's not even expecting!
I do see a world where we need big, massive things from God. We need him to move in the lives of our family members and we need him to change the trajectory of our child's life that is in rebellion. I think about the girls at the IF office who are praying for husbands. They are the most content people. They are not needy or desperate. They are running after God with their whole lives. I tell them all the time not to be afraid to ask God for a husband! Just pray it! If he doesn't, they'll be okay! But that's a good prayer - God loves family and Godly marriages, so why wouldn't we pray for that? Don't be afraid of that. I think that's where we end up - afraid that it doesn't matter, he'll say no, or that he doesn't care. It feels like a risk to pray those prayers.
HIS PRESENCE IN THE MIDST OF OUR CIRCUMSTANCES
This is what I know: prayer changes things. So let's just build a relationship with him where we tell him everything. If you think about the verse we talked about last week, Philippians 4 - "bring everything to him with prayer and supplication." The desire of God's heart is that he would be brought into those things! He might not say yes and it might not be easy, but having his presence in the midst of our circumstances changes everything. He changes your perspective, he issues peace, he causes thriving to happen in the midst of chaos, and I've seen it again and again. We look for peace in all the wrong places. God is our peace. Prayer connects us to that God.
Elsabeth Elliott says it this way: "Prayer lays hold of God's plan and becomes the link between his will and its accomplishment on earth. Amazing things can happen and we are given the privilege of becoming the channels of the Holy Spirit's prayers." This is the connection we have to God. We have his word so we know the truth, but we have prayer so we know the heart of God. It's how we walk with him. Prayer is the heart of our relationship with God. It is the expression of our faith. To be alone and form words to God - that means you believe he's there. Who would talk to themselves in a closet? Someone who believes God knows they're not talking to themselves - they're talking to the most powerful being in the universe who knows them, has plans for them, created them, and is with them. Why would we not pray?
A lot of my episodes I answer some questions from you guys, but today I want you to answer one of my questions:
When was the last time you prayed? When was the last time you formed words to God? And what did you say?
I was doing youth ministry and it trained me for parenting pretty well. I worked with a lot of teenage girls who were stuck and wanted freedom. I remember one was really struggling - she had just been broken up with and she was a girl who loved Jesus. She came to youth group, but she definitely liked partying and sleeping around. There was definitely a fight and a war within her, which is how I knew her faith was real. It wasn't easy for her - she wanted to be free. We were talking about it and she said, "I prayed about it and I just don't see anything changing." I asked her, "when did you pray about it? Where were you sitting when you prayed about it?" She stopped and looked around and she was like, "okay, I didn't really pray about it." I mean it was so honest and so humble. She could've lied to me, but she was honest! That's a lot of us. We say we will pray about it then we don't. Here's how I do it guys. I know I've told you this, so forgive me if I'm repetitive. The way I do it is I talk to him all the time: while I drive, when I'm confused, for discernment in situations. I pray big, bold prayers and I pray them all the time. There will be times I will sit and pray, but I'm highly ADD, so a lot of my prayers are while I'm going. I'm always praying with people over meals, while we're talking, etc. The main way I do it is just throughout my day. We're just together doing things and I want to know what he thinks about everything I'm doing that day! I think he just wants us to stay close to him, be his kid, and ask him for things. He's going to say no sometimes, but I know he delights in the fact that we're sitting right beside him and asking him.