Fighting for Your Friendships

Jennie Allen: Bible teacher, founder of IF:Gathering
May 20, 2022

Jennie Allen

Bible teacher, founder of IF:Gathering

Like any personal relationship, friendships are hard.

We sometimes clash with these wonderful people we love and think "There's no light at the end of this tunnel!" But there always is when you're called to love somebody.

If you've read our article about traps that derail friendships, you may have seen yourself or a friend reflected in them. Your flight response might've even kicked in already, but friendships are worth fighting for.

The enemy wants to kill, steal, and destroy anything healthy and good that draws people to God.

And our relationships are probably the greatest way that happens. Jesus did say that we're known by how we love one another. So, if our relationships are broken, then what are we compelled to? So, if you've been wondering how you can mend a broken friendship, these simple steps might come in handy:

#1 - Identify things that undermine your friendships

Our relationships can be derailed by a multitude of things, whether it's codependency, gossip, comparison, or even fear. So, figure out which friendship traps you've most struggled with.

#2 - Identify practical steps you need to take

We can only find solutions when we admit that there's a problem. So, once you've identified the problem in your friendship, find practical ways to fix it.

#3 - Shift the culture of your friendships

The greatest way you're going to shift the culture of your friendships is to listen to our podcast, read the book, and process together so you can change the way you've been doing life. You'll find ways to deepen your friendship and protect it from traps that are constantly thrown in your direction.

Together, you can build a friendship plan that details your expectations and how often you want to see each other. This plan will look different for each friend, but scheduled time is essential.

Scripture for Your Thoughts?

Ephesians 6:12 - "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

Your enemies are not the people that have hurt you or the friends that didn't reciprocate your pursuance.

There is an enemy and he hates you and relationships that are healthy and whole. Remembering that helps you have grace for other people.

I Peter 5:8-9 - "Be sober-minded. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world."

This is a comforting reminder that this is hard for everyone, especially for Christians. All over the world is a brotherhood and sisterhood of people who are trying to make this work in different ways.

If you learn anything from this, it's to fight back. Want this bad enough to fight the devil and the traps that we so easily fall into. I hope you're zealous enough to fight for your friendships together. Stand firm and know that this matters in the world because it does matter.

Click here to download our FREE book club guide.

The guide has several worksheets that will help you lay out and process traps you may fall into.