Fight fear in making friends
April 19, 2022
Jennie Allen
Bible teacher, founder of IF:Gathering
The first 3-2-1 in this season of Made For This as we go through Find Your People. 3 questions, 2 verses, 1 challenge. Let's go!
Three questions to Ask Yourself
These questions are meant to make you think and apply these things more deeply. These questions are best answered in a group of friends. If you're not processing this with a few friends, get a journal to write these questions down. Journal each of these things then you can later share the answers to these questions with somebody.
Question 1: How has social media played a role in the loneliness that you feel?
Question2: What spiraling thoughts stand in the way of you building a deep community like this?
Question 3: How have people made up the best parts of your life and also the worst?
The two verses to dig deeper.
2 Timothy 1:7, for God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control.
The reality is that we could be afraid. We can stand and look at how daunting it feels because of conflict or the culture that we live in and how much this is not valued.
Having faced rejection could make it feel daunting; you've already been through it and you don't want to go through it again.
It could be daunting because this might take a lot of work and you're tired. Maybe you're dealing with shame and regret. You may not know how to bring all that into a friendship when you're already feeling unhealthy.
How can you be a good friend to someone else? There are probably hundreds of reasons this could feel daunting, but what Scripture tells us is that God did not give us a spirit of fear.
If you are walking with God and want to make a difference in the world, then there is an assignment from the devil and that should not scare you.
It's clear throughout scripture, that there are dark cosmic forces. Ephesians say, that they come to kill, steal and destroy you; that's our reality as believers. One of those spirits is a spirit of fear and we see it everywhere.
The spirit of fear has been unleashed on the earth, and we are paralyzed in our fear. We are stuck and coping with our fear. We're not fighting it and it's taking us out.
However, 2nd Timothy says that he hasn't given us a spirit of fear. He has given us a spirit of dominion, power, love, and self-control. You are empowered with all you need to fight a spirit of fear that is coming against you because you have power from the Holy Spirit inside you. That self-control part means that we have volition.
We get to work with the authority and dominion that God has given us as ambassadors of what's right in the world.
Romans talk about the ability to not be slaves to fear but to be slaves to righteousness. This means that no longer do we get stuck in our flesh, sin, and fear, but we can choose rightly because of our volition and the power of God inside us.
We can fight the loneliness that we see everywhere. We can see a change in our lives and in our people's lives because we believe that we're not stuck in a corner alone. You can get up, get dressed, and invite a few people to hang out this weekend.
Also, remember having your people around is fun. It could be scary and hard, but it's also delightful.
Romans 13:11-14
Make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-to-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break, be up, and awake to what God is doing.
God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work He began when we first believed. We can't afford to waste a minute and we must not squander these precious daylight hours for indulgence, sleeping around, dissipation, bickering, and grabbing.
Get out of bed and get dressed. Don't loiter and linger waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ and be up and about the message.
These verses are saying: don't waste your life. Someone might be feeling like this is too hard but this is the life that God built for you. Don't miss it. Get up, get out and invite people. Risk this because it is worth it.
The Challenge
Call people this week and ask them to go on this journey with you. Be vulnerable and share that you want to go deeper in your friendships, and then make a plan to meet each week.
This isn't supposed to be easy. It's called a challenge for a reason. This is hard but if you do this, and stay with it, a year from now you will have your people.
Keep inviting even if people reject you. Expect rejection, but keep inviting and initiating. Take a chance on four people. What are those names? Who are they? Look at who you can invite and pray to God about who you want to include in this.
You will figure it out together and that's how everything changes.