Your Emotions Are Stronger Than Your Will

Your mind tells you what you think. Your will communicates what you want. Your emotions express how you feel.

When I first heard that idea from Dr. Richard Dobbins, I had no clue what he meant. All I knew at that time was that I was an emotional wreck, and I had no idea how to find my way through my feelings.

My feelings were like a tangled web that had no beginning and no end, which was the result of years of challenging experiences. All of it was impossible to conquer because I could not identify what it was or who I was.

If you don’t know what’s wrong, it’s impossible to identify what needs to change.

Most of us learn too late in life that the way we deal with our emotions affects all of our relationships.

I lived many years without knowing God created me as an emotional being. I knew I was made in God’s image, but I had no idea emotions are a part of who God is.

He gave us our emotions to experience, not to judge.

The Bible reveals God as one who thinks as well as feels.

To be made in His image means that we are feeling and thinking people. Most of us need help in learning how to define our feelings, label them, and talk about them.

It’s possible to learn how to live with our emotions comfortably, but I didn’t learn that until I was in my mid-fifties.

When we are young, we’re taught to pay much more attention to our thoughts than to our feelings. We’re taught in school how to think, but how we feel is left up to chance. Our culture teaches us much more about the thinking side of life than it does about the feeling side.

However, we learn to feel at least two years before we have a vocabulary. Before children can understand words, they feel love.

Our emotions give all of us problems from time to time and impact our self-image, fear, anger, guilt, and depression.

If you ask people what they believe to be true and honest about themselves, they can’t tell you because they are so anxious and confused about life.

In general, their view of themselves is very uncertain and poorly defined. Many never know the truth that we are created as emotional beings. This can make life and relationships very difficult.

Problems between people usually begin as problems within people. If we could become more aware that we are emotional and feeling people, we’d have fewer issues with each other.

Negative or positive relationships develop based on the emotional skills we have learned.

I developed relationships as a result of growing up in a family of eight children with parents who taught me values, morals, and how to get along with others. It was pretty basic.

I also learned how to hide and deny my feelings because I had no way of knowing how to express them. If I did try to express my feelings, I would end up being an emotional basketcase because I always said the wrong thing.

I thought my feelings were stupid, and if I could stop feeling the way I did, I would have a better life.

Later in life, when I experienced abuse, I discovered my emotions were, in fact, stronger than my will. It was a dilemma!

I wanted to do better, but my will alone could not change my life. I wanted to make better choices, but my will was too weak, and my emotions were too strong. During my years of abuse, my feelings ruled my life.

My mind told me what to think. I thought I was unloveable, unforgivable, and unchangeable.

My will told me I could do better, I needed to change my habits, and I had to stop doing what I knew was wrong.

My emotions made me feel unworthy of anything good, weak, helpless, and stupid.

What changed for me was when I got angry enough about my situation, that my will became stronger than my emotions. My will began to communicate to me what I wanted.

I wanted a better life.
I wanted my family more than I wanted abuse.
I wanted to have peace within and with God.
I wanted to live the kind of life I had lived before my abuse.
I wanted to be more than a conqueror.

At that moment, I didn’t know how all of that would unfold for me. I can only tell you my emotions took a back seat, and my will kicked in. My will became stronger than my emotions that day and helped me make a choice I wasn’t able to make for six years prior because my emotions held me captive.

As a result of the strength of my will, I can tell you my emotions over time have become healthier. I no longer feel controlled by my emotions, but instead, I can enjoy the emotional being God created me to be.

Today my mind tells me I am strong, I am valued, and I am loved. My will tells me I can do all things, I can make good choices, and I am responsible. My emotions allow me to feel fully alive, to be unafraid, to be confident.

Remember, God made you in his image and He knows how you feel. Learn how to pour out your feelings to Him and empty your soul.

In Jesus, we see the character of God, and He set the example for us. He had emotions and expressed them.

Learn to express your feelings rather than suppress them as they happen. If you aren’t able to express them, then begin to write about your feelings and emotions. Be honest with your expressions, and also share your emotions with a true friend.

Your will communicates what you want and helps you make good choices.

Your mind will give you the freedom to think and act clearly.

Your emotions will no longer dominate your life but rather enhance your experience.

Ultimately the choice I make today creates the life I live tomorrow.

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