The Difference Between Trust and Integrity

Have you thought about the difference between trust and integrity? Integrity comes from within. Trust is between people.

Integrity is “uncompromising adherence to moral and ethical principals and honesty.” Integrity and honesty make up the “internal you.” Reputation is what people think you are and what people see, or the “external you.”

The combination of the two creates your character, both good and bad.

We judge ourselves by our intentions, while people judge us by our actions. Most of us have the intention to be a good person. A good person may do a bad thing, but that does not make them a bad person.

People of integrity have a reputation for being trustworthy, which is earned over time. I believe that integrity and trust give you peace within, respect, and boundless opportunities.

Modern America has become tolerant of substandard ethics, which is situational ethics. If it feels good, works in your favor, or if you’re doing well, ethics don’t matter.

Some years ago, when I spoke at a university, we had a Q&A session. I was talking about this subject and the importance of doing what’s right.

A student asked the question, “How do you know what doing the right thing is?”

I thought for a moment and responded by saying, “There’s been many times I’ve struggled with doing the right thing. My conclusion is that if you can’t find the answer to what’s right, then do the hard thing, because doing what’s right very often is doing what’s most difficult.”

I know that may seem simplistic, but my life’s experiences have proven it time and time again -- doing what’s right can be very difficult.

When our grandson, Cristian, was born, Pop-Pop would whisper in his ear regularly and say, “When you grow up, you’ll be a man of integrity.”

That’s all he ever said. At the age of four, after Pop-Pop said it one more time, and our grandson asked with a frown, “what does the word integrity mean?”

Pop-Pop said, “it means you do what’s right every time.”

The next morning his mom called and said, “You won’t believe what Cristian did last night.”

She wasn’t feeling well, and Cristian crawled on the couch and snuggled with her. He began stroking her hair and asked if he could get her water.

She said, “sure”, so he ran to the kitchen, pulled up a stool, and came back with a glass of water.

All the while, she was puzzled by his behavior. She then asked him why he was so kind?

He responded, “Oh, I’m just practicing to be a man of integrity.”

She was blown away by his response and called us the next morning to tell the story and then learned about his conversations with Pop-Pop.

Many years later, I had a conversation with Cristian about a challenge at work that was difficult. I affirmed him by telling him he handled it well.

I told him again, “You’re a man of integrity,” and asked him if he remembers Pop-Pop telling him that line.

His response, “NeeNee, I couldn’t forget that even if I tried.”

Along the way, we grow up, and life’s challenges can make us cynical, hard-hearted, and self-seeking. We can forget the satisfaction of being a person of trust and integrity.

There are bends in the road of life and seasons of difficulty that can derail us from the high road of trust and integrity. These are the tests and trials that refine and purify us, as stated in Proverbs 17:3.

Paying attention to our hearts’ internal promptings will keep us on the high road of trust and integrity.

When you take the high road, you’ll never get caught in a traffic jam because it truly is the road less traveled.

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