Dealing With Loneliness After Change

Change always takes you to a “new thing.” During change, we often grieve the death of what was and seldom perceive the new opportunities change can bring. We begin to feel loneliness because of change.

You may have heard the line, “The only thing constant in life is change.” Many years of living verifies this truth to me.

I heard this first when we launched Auntie Anne’s. I was forty years old, and up to that point, I viewed change as part of life and certainly didn’t see it as negative.

Our company was on the fast track of constant growth, and I realized change was a constant part of life. Expanding around the world within the first six years brought about changes that I had not anticipated.

As I reflect on our company’s constant growth, there was plenty of frustration and discomfort with that pace of change.

One of the lines we used a lot during our busiest times was “change is our friend.” It was a way of reminding each other that change means growth, and we’re in this together.

I began to view change as the ultimate path to growth.

However, one of the biggest changes in my life led to a season of loneliness. We decided to sell the company and start a life post Auntie Anne’s. It was a difficult decision, and I couldn’t have known how that change would impact me.

We often default to loneliness when change occurs because we’re focused on what we lost, not what we gain.

My life at Auntie Anne’s brought a whole new world of knowledge. I had a life of purpose, business connections, philanthropic endeavors, travel around the world, and exciting business opportunities. It taught me the role and responsibility of people in leadership.

I saw the world from a very different view.

Auntie Annes brought many positive changes, including emotional, personal, professional, and spiritual growth.

However, selling the company brought about new loneliness that surprised me. The loss I felt after that change was hard for me to put into words, but I knew I was grieving the death of a life I had enjoyed beyond my wildest dreams.

There are many changes we experience:

• Death
• Divorce
• Health
• Friendships
• Jobs
• Churches
• Geographical moves
• New schools
• Retirement

The loneliness of change can be confusing, and the impact can be frustrating, uncertain, and emotionally draining.

After something changes, we see our life from a different perspective that we could not see before. The change puts us into new situations with new people and new things, and initially, we often default to loneliness.

Change can also bring other overwhelming negative feelings. Our plate feels so full that the smallest tasks are daunting. In those moments, it’s important to remember that the discomfort is momentary, and with time, you’ll discover that change can be very positive.

I’ve discovered the beauty that comes after a change and how it brings an opportunity for something new.

Change is God’s primary way of working, and that often modifies our human plans. It can be uncomfortable, but God is a personal God, so He works with us as we make our changes.

Even though we may not know how to react to change, we can give it to Him and know that He will take care of it. With His help, we can respond to it better than we ever could on our own.

Loneliness can be a pit for people who can’t seem to understand the value of getting up. This pit is a dangerous place to be and to stay over a long period. If we stay there too long, it will cancel what the changes intended.

Accepting and embracing change will mature you and help you experience life to the fullest. Open your heart to your new surroundings and know you’re not alone because we have a promise from God that we are not alone.

With change comes the ability to be flexible, and instead of breaking, we bend. Do not dwell on the past and allow a new thing to spring up.

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