The Cure For Loneliness Is Connection

Psalm 40:1 is a verse that speaks to me about how God sees and hears us in times of loneliness. It reads, “I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me, and He heard my cry.” (NIV)

We wait for God to see us, hear the longing of our soul, and the sighs of our hearts.

The loneliness I’m talking about today is when you’re falling apart right in front of others, but they don’t see you. Or those times when you’re not physically alone, but mentally there is no one in sight.

The global pandemic all of us are experiencing since February of this year is leaving many feeling alone. Some are in such deep despair that they have given into the lie, “dying is better than living.”

As followers of Jesus, we may feel alone, but we know we are not because He promised He would NEVER leave us. Sometimes our heart is slower to connect with this truth than our head.

Few of us escape loneliness. Jesus Himself knew what it was like to feel alone. He spent 40 days in the barren wilderness entirely alone with no food, no shelter, and no other human contact. All alone, Jesus encountered satan. I can only imagine the intensity of the darkness and evil He met. The story ends with angels coming to His aid and attending to His needs.

In our times of feeling alone, we too can be weakened in spirit. Very often, in those times, we need human contact to help us come out of the darkness of aloneness.

My first experience of deep loneliness happened after the death of our sweet daughter, Angie.

Feeling alone was real and, at times, felt like it would never end.

It took me by surprise! I always believed God was with me. I had never doubted His presence. He promised never to leave me alone. I believed that truth with my whole heart, and yet when I was put to the test, I succumbed to the overwhelming feeling that “I am alone.”

When saying goodbye to my sweet Angie as I saw her for the last time in her tiny little coffin, the truth that I will never see her again took over my mind and body. I was comforted by the fact she was safely taken to heaven by her angels, whom I believe carried her to her new home.

But I could not shake the overwhelming feeling that part of me was gone too, and I would never be the same.

So, I waited patiently for the Lord. I waited…and waited…and waited. What was I waiting for?

I was waiting for someone to notice I was feeling alone and comfort me. Does that sound selfish? Yes, but that’s what loneliness does. It turns us inward, and all we can think about is ourselves.

Lonely doesn’t mean I’m literally alone; it just feels like no one cares.

That’s why caring for each other is a powerful weapon to combat loneliness. Caring for others is very significant. Through the years, there have been many little cares that took me out of my small world of “me.”

I have experienced the power of people who cared when I could not care for myself. The loneliness was so deep I could not connect with my husband, who was in his world of feeling alone. Our world as a couple had crumbled!

Living under the same roof and not being able to connect was like our house was demolished, and both of us kept looking for each other. We could not see each other. Years later, we finally connected in ways that healed our loneliness over time.

When you know someone feels lonely, don’t ask them what they need because the truth is that they can’t tell you.

Do something for them that lets them know you care. Send a card, text, FaceTime, have a meal delivered, send them a book about grief, connect them to a friend or two, or send flowers.

You get the idea. It doesn’t take much to let a lonely person know you care.

The cure for loneliness is connection. The lonely person very often does not have the energy to make an effort, but we can bridge the gap for them. I believe God is waiting for us to be caregivers for Him. In that way, many lonely hearts will feel cared for and begin to come out of the dark hole of loneliness.

One last thing, I’ve been doing daily videos over on Facebook called “Coffee and Chats with Auntie Anne.” Each weekday I try to bring something encouraging to share. You can watch on my Facebook Page.

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