How to Save Time & Money

Shar McBee
April 04, 2023

Shar McBee

Leadership with a Twist of Yoga

You will learn how to save time and money using this tip.

Steve, a Texas businessman who owns a design agency called my office. He had been in the audience three weeks earlier when I spoke to a group of business owners in Austin, Texas.

On the phone he said, "Me and my dad bought a ranch up in the hills. To get to our land we need a right of way across our neighbor's land. For three years he has refused to give us the right of way."

Steve explained how they had begged and cajoled the neighbor; reasoned with him; justified and rationalized their point of view. They pointed out to the neighbor how much they needed to get to their land and all they wanted was for the neighbor to be reasonable. At first, they hoped he would be. But no. Years had gone by. They had spent hours talking to him and still had no right of way.

What should they do?
What would you do?

In the past, in situations when I really wanted to be heard, I used to believe that I should speak first. I would arrive at a meeting thinking, "I have to speak right away because this is important."

If someone else was droning on, I would become impatient. In fact, I wouldn't hear a word of what was being said because I was so anxious to speak. I was certain that my information was essential to the group and they would agree if I could just get them to listen to me. I discovered that speaking first did not make an impact. It didn't work.

Getting people to listen is a challenge. Getting them to hear you is a greater challenge. Most people are more interested in what they have to say than in what you have to tell them.

When I had hundreds of people reporting to me, I didn't have time to cajole them into listening. But I needed them to listen. I tried dozens of approaches. Nothing worked.

After a long struggle, this is what I finally came up with: Let people empty their cups.

Let me explain: Imagine that you want to give me some fresh squeezed orange juice. However, my cup is full because it has been sitting on my desk for a while and it is filled with old, cold coffee. Before I can receive your orange juice, you have to let me empty my cup.

It is the same with information. If you want to tell me something important, I won't be able to listen to you until after I have my say. Metaphorically, I have to make room in my cup for your information.

When you have something important to say, it is imperative to let others speak first. They will not listen to you until they have "emptied their cups" by getting their own concerns off their chests.

When Steve, the Texas businessman called, he said, "After I heard your speech, I called my dad and said, 'Come on, we are going up there and let that guy empty his cup."

Father and son drove to the ranch. On the way, the son advised his dad, "No matter what he says, let him yak. Please don't butt in. Let him chew the fat as long as he wants to. We'll just sit and listen."

They arrived at the house, settled onto the neighbor's couch and without prompting the old rancher started talking. He told stories of the land, how his family had settled there and what had happened to them. For three hours he told his tales while the father and son sat listening.

When the old rancher finally stopped talking, they asked for the right of way. Immediately, he granted it.

The businessman exclaimed, "For three years we had been telling him why we needed it, but we never convinced him. Three hours of listening and he gave us what we wanted!"

When you have something important to say, don't say it right away. Hold back. If you listen first, you will let people "empty their cups." Then, when it is your turn to speak, they will be able to take in your information.

Shar McBee

Want Shar McBee for your next event?

Find out more information, including fees and availability.
Find Out More
Keep Reading
How to Save Time & Money
Shar McBee
Shar McBee
April 04, 2023
You will learn how to save time and money using this tip. Steve, a Texas businessman who owns a design agency called ...
To Be Successful, Be Attractive
Shar McBee
Shar McBee
February 14, 2023
An example of the “Law of Attraction” that might help you: My friend Jerry is a pilot who was the chairman of ...
Sales Success using 'To Lead is to Serve'
Shar McBee
Shar McBee
January 23, 2023
Sales Success: 3 Tips 1. See people for who they are. Not for what they can or cannot do for you. 2. ...
How to Save Time & Money
You will learn how to save time and money using this tip. Steve, a Texas businessman who owns a design agency called my office. He had been in the audience three weeks earlier when I spoke to a group of business owners in Austin, Texas. On the phone he said, "Me and my dad bought a ranch up in the hills. To get to our land we need a ...
Read More
To Be Successful, Be Attractive
An example of the “Law of Attraction” that might help you: My friend Jerry is a pilot who was the chairman of his pilots' union. The union meetings were held in a room where everyone ate and smoked. It was a mess. At one point, the union was negotiating a new contract and the two sides were stuck in a deadlock. Many, many meetings ha...
Read More
Sales Success using 'To Lead is to Serve'
Sales Success: 3 Tips 1. See people for who they are. Not for what they can or cannot do for you. 2. Can your product or service improve lives? If so, you have a moral obligation to offer it. 3. Offer it like you would offer a box of chocolates. If they say no, it is still chocolate. Which of these tips do you like?… and use? #sales ...
Read More
In Receiving We Give
This season is not only a time for giving. It is also a time of reward for good works. When the people that you have helped want to show their gratitude to you… Let them. One year we collected money to give a thank you gift to our tennis coach. But she wouldn’t accept it. We were disappointed. We all know St. Francis’ quote: “It is i...
Read More
Female Disruptors Summit
You are invited to book your spot for the 2023 Female Disruptors Summit – take action and become unstoppable. It is virtual.Check it out here. I attended last year and LOVED it. This year I am honored to be one of the speakers. Don’t miss this: Yoga for Your Business (and your body). 3 yogic principles (3 small changes) that will mak...
Read More
Success tips from top Hollywood Biz Manager, Michael Karlin
“Work. Give. Clear your voicemail.” These success tips come in a mini leadership training from Michael Karlin, founding partner atNKSFBin Los Angeles. He is responsible for managing the financial affairs of his many high-net-worth clients andknown as one of Hollywood's top business managers. First today's leadership secret: Be bold. ...
Read More
Robert Rauch (University of Maryland Regent) on the Joy of Leadership Podcast
Welcome to the Joy of leadership Podcast onKMozartbrought to you byCobblestone Wine.I am your host Shar McBee.In a moment you will meet our guest Bob Rauch, a Regent at the University of Maryland. But first, today’s leadership secret: Enthusiasm. Enthusiasm enables you to inspire cooperation. It warms the heart. When you are honestly...
Read More
Suze Orman on the Joy of Leadership Podcast
Welcome to the Joy of Leadership Podcast on KMozart brought to you by Cobblestone Wine. I am your host Shar McBee. In a moment you will meet our guest Suze Orman, who is undeniably America's most recognized expert on personal finance. First, we begin with today’s leadership secret: Dharma. Dharma is a Sanskrit word that loosely means...
Read More
Suze Orman shares what got her booked on 30 Oprah Shows on the Joy of Leadership Podcast
In thisleadership podcast and mini leadership training, Suze Orman tells of a success secret that she told to Oprah that resulted in Oprah booking her on the Oprah Winfrey Show more than 30 times. Suze will teach the secret to you. Shar McBee: Welcome to the Joy of Leadership Podcast onKMozartbrought to you byCobblestone Wine.I am yo...
Read More
Phylicia Rashad on the Joy of Leadership Podcast
Welcome to the Joy of Leadership Podcast onKMozartbrought to you byCobblestone Wine.I’m your host Shar McBee. Our guest, Phylicia Rashad, is a director, a star on television and Broadway, and now the new Dean of the College of Fine Arts at Howard University. You can listen on KMozart, read it below, or catch it on You Tube. It is als...
Read More