Herb Cohen

Featured Keynote Programs

For at least forty years I have referred to negotiating as a game, where you should care, really care…..but not t-h-a-t much. Based upon my personal experience and observation of others, it struck me early in my career, that when a negotiator had an overwhelming need to make a good deal he or she was handicapped.

When you care too much and are over-invested emotionally, there is an increased flow of adrenalin which causes you to become doped-up and dumbed­-down. This results in loss of perspective, impaired judgment and a focus on failure.

However, if you have a viable option or other alternatives you can maintain your cool and confidence. And people always have confidence in confident people.

So always try to keep your composure and a detached view – – distancing yourself from your natural impulses and emotions. This relaxed attitude (a balance between irrational exuberance and utter despair) can provide a bulwark against the onset of stress producing emotions (self-doubt, anxiety and hostility) – – a psychological shield between the ego and the aggressiveness of others.

In short, your mantra should be, I CARE —, REALLY CARE, BUT NOT T-H-A-T MUCH.

Concessions should always be yielded grudgingly. Conceding too easily or too soon will raise the expectations of the other side and result in their taking what you’ve done for granted.  Following are some additional principles: PROCESS or “HOW” CONCESSIONS count. Never bid against yourself. You must be able to justify and explain your opening or risk losing credibility.  Be aware of your pattern of concession-making behavior. Move in diminishing steps, starting with your largest concession, followed by a smaller one and then the smallest. This signals that your best and final offer is being approached.  Don’t give specific concessions against vague indications or general insinuations. When you offer a “WHAT CONCESSION” make sure your counterpart realizes it’s a sacrifice on your part. Moreover, they must labor for it and are expected to reciprocate.  Try not respond to their concessions or questions. Slow down and appear more thoughtful.  Don’t rush your reply to their concessions or questions. Slow down and appear more thoughtful.  The timing of your “last and final offer” determines its credibility. E.G. THE PROXIMITY RULE. Assume that the other side always has to go back for final approval. Hence help them with the packaging so they not only “save face” but appear to have done well.