We are All Needy
July 06, 2022
Jennie Allen
Bible teacher, founder of IF:Gathering
Our hope is that you're going to go out and have actual things to take with you and to apply. These are questions you can ask yourself or bring up over dinner this week with your friends.
This is essential that you have people you're processing this with and getting closer to as you process friendship. If are reading this with other friends, you can come together and figure things out together.
Let these conversations happen with people that you're doing life with. You'll walk out of this not only knowing more about friendship but also having your friends thinking and desiring the same things.
3 Questions
#1. Describe your experiences initiating with people, what has worked and what hasn't?
How powerful would it be to ask this question with each other over dinner? Then answer honestly, and maybe say, "You know what, this hasn't worked. I've been initiating like crazy, but you're not initiated back". Those are the kinds of things that should be said.
#2. Why is it hard for you to need others?
Sharing that with each other, your friends understand why you're slow to open up. Maybe you've been hurt, or it's been used against you. They learn to fight for you.
They'll know to pull you out because they know that you're not going to be needy and you've told them why.
#3. How have you pushed people away in your life?
The answer to this is so important. Your friends need to know your past friendships. They need to know why this is hard for you. You need to tell them this is what's hard and the reason why you're guarded. It doesn't mean you'll immediately stop being guarded, but at least they can be sensitive to why you are.
2 Scriptures
It's the whole passage about one body with many parts. The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. It is the same with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some of us Gentiles, some are slaves, some are free, but we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same spirit.
Being one and doing life together in a way that depends on each other is the vision of God. This is how it's supposed to work. It is how the local church is supposed to function.
There is no one righteous, not even one. There is no one who understands, there's no one who seeks God, and all have turned away. They have together become worthless. There is no one who does good, not even one.
It's a very depressing verse but the point is, all together we have run from God and all together we need God. We have fallen short and what's powerful about that is recognizing that we're all needy.
Every person that looks like they have it all together, that acts like they don't need anything, are needy too. We all are.
There can be a negative association with being needy, but it's a fact we are needy. What we do with that need, whether we take it to people or to God first, that's what we have to work out.
First, our needs go to God. Then afterward, they go to people. If we do it backward, then we're going to end up trying to make people our God and they're going to have expectations that are not realistic.
1 Challenge
You probably need to go grocery shopping or you'll need to run an errand. Take someone and invite them to go with you. Then, take a picture and tag us. Tag me on Instagram; Jennie Allen is my profile name. Tag me and show me that you went running errands together. Do the things you were going to do anyway but do it with people.
Get the Book
WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS LONELY.
In a world that's both more connected and more isolating than ever before, we're often tempted to do life alone, whether because we're so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard. In Find Your People, bestselling author Jennie Allen draws on fascinating insights from science and history, timeless biblical truth, and vulnerable stories from her own life.