From Loneliness to Vulnerability with sadie robertson huff

April 19, 2022

Jennie Allen

Bible teacher, founder of IF:Gathering

It is the mercy of God to lose everything on earth and to see that God is enough. It is also the mercy of God to get everything this world has to offer and understand that it's not what you're really looking for.

Sadie Robertson talks about his journey through loneliness with fame and millions of followers on social media, to finding a solution in Jesus, overcoming the need to scroll, learning vulnerability, and building meaningful connections:

"I want to take this biblical perspective on social media; what would Jesus say? In current times, how do we still seek wisdom through the way that we do social media? How do we do it right? How do we do it without it costing us who we are? How can it bring fruits and become part of our calling and a part of our purpose?" 

Topics that have to do with social media are so relatable to the things that Jesus went through. And the words that Jesus says are just like honey over all of it. Even down to the following thing; we follow people all day long. Yet Jesus said: follow me first. 

Interestingly, today we cannot talk about connection without talking about technology. When you look back throughout history, you see that loneliness was not as much of a problem. But in our generation, even pre-quarantine 3-5 people said they were lonely. We have a massive problem of loneliness yet we are more connected than we've ever been. We're not happy.

How come we are so lonely even though we're more connected than we've ever been?

The reason why we're so connected but we're the loneliest generation is because a lot of us are not honest; we're not living authentic lives. We have all these people around us but they don't know us, how could they love us the way that we need to be loved and in a relationship? 

I've had moments in my life where I have a huge following on social media. I have friends in real life and I have a husband yet I felt lonely. 

Those are moments we ask ourselves: why am I feeling lonely right now? What is this feeling of loneliness even though I have all these people around me? Genuinely, it could be that I'm not being honest and open with my people. They think they know me, but I know something that they don't know that I'm holding back. So how could they know me? 

Social media has created a situation where you're seen by so many people, but you're not known by them. Being seen and not known distances you from actually being able to be in a relationship with people. 

In my relationship with my friends or my husband, if I'm choosing to not share the things that I'm going through, that are hurting me or that I'm excited about, then I can have that tendency to feel lonely. 

The Conundrum of Fame versus Being in Connection and Community

Dancing with the stars, was one of the biggest moments of my life. The spotlight fell directly on me over 11 weeks on a hit TV show with 15 million people watching every week. I had gained a million followers in a month.

Well, I was 17 and a junior in high school. When I went back from Los Angeles to Louisiana, I remember this girl came up to me and she said: 'Hey, no one wants to hear about it. So don't talk about it. I don't remember anyone at school ever asking me how it was or saying 'you did well'.

I get back and I noticed the lunch table that was always set out with one of my best friends. They had squished in and all the seats were taken. They were like: 'Sorry, you've been gone so there's no room here anymore'. I felt so lonely, isolated, and broken. It's so interesting because that is the time when I had all these followers, fame, and excitement. It was one of the loneliest times in my whole life. 

I kept asking: Who am I? What am I going to do? God, why did you do this? I was mad at God. I was like: 'Why did you do this to me, you put me in this position?' 

To that point of loneliness, no one knew what I was going through. Everyone assumed that I was wrapped in this fame; that I was so happy and excited. In reality, I was so lonely. I was struggling. I started getting asked to like speak in places. I felt like such a hypocrite. How could I go and be this positive role model when I was struggling?

It was during that time that I made a YouTube video; our first YouTube video ever. It was the most real authentic video I could have ever made. I had just gotten out of the shower, had pajamas on, and was just talking to the camera about how this is what people see me as but in reality, I'm struggling like everyone else. I talked about how man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 

The YouTube video ended up getting about 2 million views very fast. It got to the point that 'Good Morning America' had me on to talk about this very authentic video about living original. That led me into walking a little bit more into the ministry side of things; into posting encouraging videos on YouTube.

At that moment, I didn't feel like I was known by anyone. So I made a video to tell people everything about who I am. In this video, I said this is what I struggle with. I struggle with jealousy and control. I feel lonely. I said everything. 

When I said it, it was like a breakthrough that led me into what I'm doing today. That's the perfect example of what it looks like when you press past that feeling of loneliness and allow yourself to be known. 

I've had those moments where I've legitimately had reason to feel lonely. But even in those moments, you can break past that and choose to not sit in that and build community. It might be a new community, but you need people to know where you're at.

Who are you following? Are you chasing?

Are you following fame? Are you following people to get you a certain lifestyle? Are you following a platform? Are you following these things thinking in your mind that if you get that then you'll be happy? As someone who's been there, I can tell you they won't do it for you. 

However, if you're following Jesus, no matter where the journey takes you, no matter what life brings you, no matter what platform you ever have, how many followers you have, how much money you ever had, you will be satisfied, because that's truly what your soul is designed for. 

When I was young, my family started taking me out of the country to different places, and I got to see the world bigger than my own little world.

I would go to Dominican Republic, Haiti, Guatemala, Uganda, or all these different places where people had nothing but were so joyful. They were filled with so much love and they were so compassionate. 

Then I continued to travel. When I became famous, I would be there and they'd be so joyful and so happy. There were several times I would fly straight from there to LA to do some red carpet. I would fly from these places where people had nothing to these places where people had the most extravagant lifestyle. I went from seeing people who had nothing but had everything that mattered in life, to seeing people who had everything but were missing those important things like love, freedom, joy, and all the fruits of the Spirit. 

Seeing that contrast, I realized you can have everything; walk the red carpet, be in a fancy dress, have the perfect body but you can feel so lonely, and unloved. I saw that and I knew that life cannot fill me with the soul cravings that I have. Some of the biggest moments in my life where you would think I have it all had been the worst. 

There's nothing wrong with having an extravagant lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with having a lifestyle that has very little. The important thing about both is that you have Jesus. Whether you have nothing or you have everything, it doesn't matter because nothing holds value except for the value of the things that Jesus can be. 

It took this pressure off me. God is not calling me to live this famous lifestyle. He's calling me to be a light in the darkness; to be a sister and a friend of those who doesn't have one. God was calling me to something that is the very nature of who I am and affirming who I am. 

Friendship, in the real world; how do you go deeper? 

It is hard. Whenever I moved to Nashville, friendships just came very easily. I had friends; I'm so thankful for them, and they'll be with me forever. Then when I moved back to Louisiana, it was so hard to build community or make friends.