Holy Ambition

May 18, 2022

Jennie Allen

Bible teacher, founder of IF:Gathering

I first read this book twenty years ago. My husband, Zac, and I were living in a small town in Texas, and we were just starting seminary. We'd heard about Holy Ambition by Chip Ingram, so we ordered the book on tape, and we listened as we drove into town for our classes--we would never be the same again.

I was beginning to explore the gifts God had given me and I couldn't help but ask what on earth a young mom who loved Jesus was supposed to do with the gifts of teaching, vision, and leadership. When I looked around the conservative, southern church I grew up in, I didn't see many women using gifts like mine and I wondered if they would ever find a home.

For years, small groups of women met in my living room for Bible studies and discipleship. Those were some of the greatest years of ministry, but I couldn't ignore the big ideas God was placing in my heart. I didn't think women were supposed to lead in the church. I lived in fear and carried the weight of people-pleasing. Living with ambition was not appealing to me. Little did I know what God was birthing. But first, I had to overcome my fears, expectations, and people-pleasing to live out the story God had for me.

As I listened to Holy Ambition, I became less terrified of the dreams God gave me. I grieved the fact that I had boxed in my gifts and how I thought I should use them. What I was learning actually made me uncomfortable because I thought ambition should be avoided and I had a deep-seated belief that I was "too much for everybody." As I listened over and over to Holy Ambition, I began to believe that God could use my gifts in new ways, but I didn't know what that would cost.

All these years later, I can say without a doubt that what I learned through Holy Ambition was a turning point for me. It gave me permission to obey God, hear His voice, and follow Him. It gave me direction for my dreams, and at the same time, I learned the invaluable call to submit to the Bible, my elders, and my husband.

Holy Ambition removed the lid off my passions, gifts, dreams, and personality. I stopped limiting what I thought God could do with me. It gave me permission to think differently about my gifts, my calling, and how I could play a role in building the kingdom.

I pictured myself as a thoroughbred horse being trained and led by a careful guide. I was filled with great joy because I love people and teaching and discipling. But deep down I knew that if the gate opened and I could run hard and dream big, bigger things might hap pen around me.

At that time, twenty years ago, there really were few categories for what I do now. Bible teachers like Beth Moore weren't leading publicly yet. So, I didn't walk away from Holy Ambition knowing I would start a podcast or write books or speak to thousands of people.

Early on, I couldn't have imagined the opportunities God has given me today, but first I had to get over my fears and expectations and people-pleasing to live out the story God had for me.

One of the biggest misconceptions about success is that it is only measured up and to the right. That might be true on paper, but behind the scenes it has been a hard-fought battle. I never wanted to launch IF:Gathering or run an organization. Because I was afraid of ambition, I wanted to control my success and keep it small. But God kept calling me to more.

Before I signed my first book contract, I reached out to a trusted friend and confessed that I was scared I would sign on the dotted line and sell my faith in exchange. I was afraid to hear Jesus say, "I don't know you. You sold your soul to public ministry." My friend told me, "Don't lose that fear, because actually this could corrupt you."

I kept praying, "Anything, Lord." God honors prayers of total surrender. When you pray for a pure, humble, and wise heart, know that He will answer.

So, I'll stay in this thing until He tells me to close up shop. He has protected us--because it was His plan and we weren't chasing our ambition, trying to make something happen.

It is good to walk with God. The hardest parts have also been the deepest and richest parts. I would never trade the hard. We need to be people who don't make life choices based on pros and cons, comfort and hardship, but rather on obedience to God. Do what He calls you to do.

There are mountains to climb, things that need to be built, and ministries that need to be started in this generation. There are people who need to hear the gospel in cubicles, classrooms, and on college campuses. We need to obey, because time is short and heaven is coming.

So, let me encourage you to be ambitious--not for fame, or success, but for God's glory, God's people, and those who do not yet know Christ. Holy Ambition was a faithful guide for my journey and I highly recommend it to you.