Creating a Vision for Your Friendships
May 27, 2022
Jennie Allen
Bible teacher, founder of IF:Gathering
Imagine it's five years from now, and the friends with whom you've done life are by your side. These are the girls and guys who know everything about you. You see them multiple times a week, and they are there for you through thick and thin. You're walking through life fully known and completely loved. And it's not always easy, but you're committed to each other. All of this begins with a vision.
Today, I want you to build a vision with your people.
Lay out the ways you would love to do friendship in the next year, for example.
A shared vision will help you build trust and commitment. You'll be able to open up more. And when you share your burdens with others, your brain begins to heal. So, you'll likely have less anxiety. As you figure out where to start building your vision, you must ask yourself three important questions:
Do the people in your life know how you feel about them?
It's easy to assume that the people with whom we do life know how we feel about them. They may know it, but it still doesn't hurt to hear it from you. So, ask yourself if you need to write some letters or texts to tell your people what they mean to you. Pull over to your friend's house and tell them you can't do life without them.
[They need to hear it.]
What will you take away from this journey?
The vision of your friendships should include the changes you'll make to avoid slipping back into old habits and traps. Write down the changes you want to make and share them with your friends and family. Tell them what you want to do differently and that it's a priority to you.
What commitments have you made to live differently?
Write easy-to-recall commitments. In making these commitments, you will learn more and hopefully practice these things with other people as you go. You may also need people to hold you accountable on this journey.
A clear vision of your friendship will inform how you express your love for one other over time. All it takes is a few small decisions. As you envision your friendships and love each other better, you will have clarity on what God wants to do in and through you.
Scripture for your thoughts?
Romans 12:15 - "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."
Listening and caring are crucial to every relationship. So, celebrate with your friends when they celebrate and mourn with them when they do. It is the rarest thing in the world to have friends that listen with empathy.
John 15:15 - "No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing. But I've called you friends, for all that I've heard from my Father I have made known to you."
Jesus walks with us and sends His Spirit to help us. There is a co-laboring that God is doing with you as you love people. He is giving you what you need to accomplish the tasks He puts before you. He loves you, He is delighting over you, and He is the best friend we could have. And so, you always go to Him first.
'Find Your People' has exercises that will help you make and keep better friends.
Make sure to get our Book Club Kit and read with your friends for the rest of this summer.