Asking for Help

Dan Thurmon
November 04, 2019

Dan Thurmon

Show Stopping Performance. Life Changing Message.

Do you find it difficult to ask for and accept help? In just over two minutes, this video delivers five reasons people resist asking for help, and five keys to getting past them - so you can ask for, and receive, the help you need.

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READ THE TRANSCRIPT.

Do you find it difficult to ask for and accept help? This week we're Off Balance on Purpose in Palm Beach, Florida.
Asking for help is one of my big challenges. And limitations. Perhaps you've experienced this too, for one of these five common reasons:
1. You don't want to admit that you're struggling, or can't do it yourself.
2. You hate imposing on someone else.
3. You think that if you get help, you'll have to reciprocate.
4. You're unsure of exactly what, or who, to ask.
5. Asking for help would commit you to a path, and you're not sure you're ready.
In short, this is a complicated area, but the challenge is very real. And again, it's my challenge, as well. So here are five keys to ask intelligently for the help that we need.
1. Question the question. Determine one specific question you hope to answer. Don't just dump your whole situation on someone and hope they’ll figure it out. That's not fair.
2. Ask the expert. Be sure the person you're asking has relevant experience. Sometimes people ask help from someone who currently shares their challenge, which means they would rather have understanding than real answers.
3. Respect boundaries. Start simple. Be sensitive to time. Elaborate if, and when, your advisor invites a deeper dialogue.
4. Implement and report. People love to help those who act. When you implement, you earn respect, and show that you value the input.
5. Pay it forward. Getting help creates an imbalance, and the temptation is to reciprocate. But the better way to honor your advisor, perhaps, is to help someone else who needs what you can offer.
Excellent answers lead to more questions. Some you can figure out on your own. And sometimes it's better to ask someone with experience. But don't expect anyone to do the work for you. Because when it comes to your improvement, no one is more invested than you. Until next week, stay Off Balance on Purpose.
Dan Thurmon

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