“Sexual Misuse” might seem like a new term but the behavior has been around as long as men and women have been interacting with each other. This term was not coined to describe sleazy women and prostitutes but applies to people who are closer to you than you think. Young girls, college students, corporate executives and married women (and men) are falling prey to this behavior. African-American author and writer Shellie R. Warren mistakenly excused her cycle of “sexual misuse” as having a high sex drive which resulted from some unfortunate incidents in her life including sexual abuse, rape, promiscuity and a few abortions. Shellie became accustomed to feelings of guilt, fear, shame, anger, bitterness, confusion and the longing to be loved. Those who knew Shellie never fully knew the secrets she kept buried deep within that resulted in feelings of loneliness and desperation.
Shellie Warren’s parents divorced when she was a young child. Shellie soon welcomed a step-father, but it has been said that a child can see a person’s real character and Shellie noticed some red flags regarding the man she now called “Daddy.” During her teen years, Shellie and her mother experienced the typical mother-daughter struggles, which often resulted in bouts of verbal and at times, physical abuse, motivating Shellie to find safety in her step-father. This was a comfort to a teen girl who often felt unattractive and like a misfit due to her unique style, outspoken personality and non-conventional looks. When it was time for Shellie to learn the facts of life it was her step-father who was more than willing to share the explicit details while her mother stayed within the safety guidelines of traditionalism. Growing up a Christian, Shellie Warren was taught to remain a virgin until marriage but during her first year of college that dream ended and her downward spiral into sexual misuse heightened.
“Sex was not the problem, how I was using it was,” admits Warren, “Sexual Misuse does not discriminate to age, race or upbringing.” With the desire to help others who might be dealing with the same entanglements, specifically the emotional responsibilities that come with pre-mature sexual relationships, Warren has released the shocking and brutally raw book, Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption (Relevant Books). In it, Shellie Warren retells the oh-too-common stories that many share, but do not discuss from her childhood memories of yearning to be attractive to shattered trust from the high school boys to the lies and cheating from her college boyfriends (and non-boyfriends); all leading to deeper insecurities and the compulsive need to feel wanted and needed by the opposite sex.
Shellie Warren believes this memoir is a “how to” book that provides simple steps to overcoming the cycle of sexual misuse, “I won’t lie, sex is great but when it is used for the sake of temporary gratification at the expense of your safety and personal well-being, it can be deadly, because it can affect everything in your life -emotionally, physically and spiritually - not to mention your future spouse and children.” Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption interweaves poetry with deep-rooted confessions and gritty details inside of her world filled with lust, loss, unplanned pregnancies, repeated abortions, guilt, and brokenness and finally healing.
A former spokesperson for Miss Black USA, Inc. Shellie R. Warren is a full-time writer and speaker on “sexual misuse,” a phrase she coined to describe any sexual relationship outside of marriage. She has been published in over four-dozen publications including Honey Magazine, Upscale Magazine, CCM, Women's Health & Fitness, Relevant, Radiant, King and NV Magazine. Warren, who was named Miss Woman of Color 2002-2003, is also a spoken word artist and is featured on b-gyrl.com’s compilation, The Lyristcess Lounge and Gotee-recording artist, GRITS Dichotomy A and B. She has contributed to five book collections: "I Woke Up and Put My Crown On: The Project of 76 Voices" by Rochell D. Hart; "Beyond The Sorrow" by Tammy Trent, "Journey to Empowerment" and "Journey to a Blissful Life" by Maria Dowd and "Fantasy: An Insatiable Desire for a Satisyfing Love". Shellie is an entertainment journalist for a local Gannett publication, All The Rage (www.nashvillerage.com) and a feature blogger for HoneyMag.com and XXXChurch.com. A double-disk audio book release of "Inside of Me" and "Dramaholics" is slated for release later this summer and her sophomore book, "Make Him Weak in the Knees (in Prayer") will be published in the fall of 2007. Shellie Warren lives in Nashville, TN.